I am feeling hopeful and grateful to be introduced to others with lupus and other things - without reading back on my post I cannot remember what I wrote - so I am apologizing now if I am redundant.
It is Thanksgiving week and my kids are home from school - which means more messes, more cooking, more disruptions so I cannot concentrate on things like blogging because they just don't stop talking. But I must admit I like the company - being home all day alone just gets the downers in you - and with the lack of physical ability I cannot keep myself busy enough and there for think of these diseases that keep me down, not to mention make me look like a totally different person.
Well this Thanksgiving I am fore going the Turkey and doing surf and turf instead - this way I think it will be a bit easier on me and others can help better - I am buying the pie and so many other things - I realized from a friend that I should teach the kids, and sit with them instead of carry the burden myself. So I am going to try this more often - today I went to put about 8 towels away in the linen closet and well by the 5th one my arms were screaming at me .. It is a frustrating disease - but from this moment on I am a fighter not a complainer -
On that subject - because I didn't have anyone to talk to that understood - I wld make statements like this or that hurt to do - or I am tired oh geeze the pain everywhere and so on to my friends and family etc.. I started to notice that they no longer responded - they had nothing to say back to me - Why would they , so at that moment I felt like I became the nuisance, the complainer, ugh not another word from her please lady... LOL
So I started to recluse and become grumpy, because I felt all these things constantly, no day off, and no one to really talk to and I just simply didn't want to loose my friends and family because I was no longer the positive, go getter, do everything girl.
I was the mature mother - I was the one to go to for advice because I have been through it all having six children from the ages of 9 to 26 .. I also was a decorator, a gardner, physically fit person, can do wood working, painter, 14 years in the finance and accounting world, well traveled, loved to read and talk about everything, I loved to hold parties, I also was faithful and attended church weekly - until a few years ago all of that slowly was taken away from me. How do I rebuild myself - when I feel like I am dwindling away to nothing - the things I love doing are simply not achievable.
My promise through this blog and the people I intend upon meeting and growing from - is to be that inspirational person I used to be - it may have to change to suit my physical inabilities - but I think I should and will be able to find a life that will make me feel social, accomplished and blessed again. I guess that means I have to start seeing the glass half full again and finding joy in the day - because there truly is joy even in the most painful days ..
Thank you all for helping me lift my head and heart back up - I am blessed and cannot wait to start meeting everyone
signing off now - because this mommy in pain - has a daughter starting her first basketball game today in the 8th grade - and I love watching my children play sports especially basketball. Today I am grateful to have a friend drive me to the game, and for attending a school conference where the teachers feel a warmth and appreciation to a daughter that is so loved by me - she is holding Straight A's still (always has) her 8 yrs in school, she is lovely, organized, hardworking, pleasant, chatty, fun and very athletic .. I am blessed today - hope you are too~
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